Perfect Storm
Suckies, Blankies, and Ducktape
21/06/08 20:49 Filed in: Rantin'
Would it be wrong to ducktape ThingTwo's suckie and blankie directly to her person? The misplacement of these two items fuel enough distress and rage to start Wars! As long as I know the locations of these two items i can make it through my day unscathed. Sometimes I wonder how much time I lose each day searching for these things. Racing from room to room scanning for the damn things amidst the path of destruction she leaves in her wake. She's like the Perfect Storm. Systematically laying waste to every room equally and somehow strewing debris from each room into all of the others.
I always said there was no way I was going to be a push-over, but when she starts to wail I end up going from room to room scanning the environment for these two items, It's like Arnold in The Terminator and the computer interface he sees inside his head. The screen focus scanning and identifying the obstacles in front of him and assessing the level of threat to his mission. I move from room to room, picking up things, moving the clothing shrapnel towards the bedrooms and the apparently elusive laundry buckets, collecting toys that I didn't know we owned, re-capturing the tissues that she decided to liberate from their oppressive confines. The shrapnel is abundant because you see, it's summer! and well, even though no one told me, clothing is optional!
This is an ongoing process and over the last couple of months I have developed somewhat of a sixth sense for finding these things. (either that or I'm just stubborn and can't stand the crying) The absence of the suckie and blankie really constitute a life and death situation so it is imperative to know where they are at all times. Summertime has brought brought both new challenges and assets to this fight. My attire during the summer months consists predominantly of three things: T-shirts, Cargo Shorts, and flip-flops. Cargo Shorts being the key factor here, we generally have 2 suckies in the main rotation at any given time and the cargo pockets are perfect for storing the backup or the main when she has put it down but not yet realized it is no longer in her gob. Summertime also means that the square footage you must be aware of increases because you have to factor in the back yard, this is where the flip flops come in, easy on - easy off! T-shirts? Well what's more comfortable than a T-shirt?
What are your kid's "Ducktape" items? (I know it's spelled d-u-c-t, it's just fun to say.)
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