The Red head with a tail in question would be none other that the princess of the deep herself Miss Ariel, and her two cronies. There is some small comfort that the aqua pricess was in fact a candle and therefore had her head set on fire, but I’m not bitter...... - Amputee Barbie. I would like to congratulate the Weaselmomma for guessing Swiper the Fox, (red-head with a tail) I hadn’t even thought of that one.

Well once again the outdoor party was a resounding success. Keep Reading....

Tags: Tail, Cake, Allergies, Cook Book

Hello, my name is Amputee Barbie. I’ll be your tourguide. I was the mascot on ThingOne’s birthday cake last year. I had to sit, in a cake, covered in icing, in 35º heat before having my dress eaten and my dignity stripped. Do I get an encore, do I? No. I get replaced by some young hussy with red hair and a tail, A TAIL! Is this for real? I mean what’s up with the tail already? Keep Reading....

Tags: Kids, Parties, Birthdays

I’d like to say I’m too proud to beg.....but I’m not. We are now 9 days away from The Weekend to End Breast Cancer. My wife, aka my “SugarMomma” has signed up with a team of 2 other women to participate in this worthy event. I’ve said it before, who doesn’t love boobies? So the Team of ladies has been hard at work fund-raising. They have hosted a Pancake Breakfast, organized a raffle and now just yesterday held a bake sale: which were all successful. Just not successful enough. To everyone who came by yesterday and purchased something from the Bake Sale, Thank You! To everyone who helped out with Baked goods, set-up and supplies, Thank You too! The required fund-raising by each team member is minimum $2000, they as a team now sit approximately $600 short of that goal, with under two weeks till the event. If they do not raise the required amount, they will not be allowed to participate. The money raised so far will still go to the cause but the ladies on the team will not be able to join in the 2-Day 60km walk and all that goes with it. This would be a great shame, these women have been training for months to be able to complete the 60km walk and put in many, many hours, and dollars of their own to try and be apart of this event.

So, here’s the begging. If you have boobies, and you like them, and you’d like to keep them: If you know someone who has boobies, and you like them, and you’d like to keep them. Please consider either making a purchase of one of our Baby Onesie t-shirts which you can see here. If that is too much please consider purchasing one of our stickers which you can see here. The sticker with shipping is a mere $6. Six whole dollars! what is that? One Latte? One frappa-dappa-lappa- ccino? One pint at the local pub? We will send this sticker anywhere in North America. If you live outside of North America please choose the International sticker option which is $8 and we will mail it to you anywhere in the world. If you don’t need or want either of these items but would still like to help you can make a donation directly online here. Any amount will help, each one of us can make a difference and at any time any one of us can be touched by this tragic disease. If you have already helped us, We THANK YOU. If you haven’t and you are considering doing so, please do so now. If you’re just stopping by to check in on my ridiculousness........thank you and come back soon.

BBD.

Tags: Boobies, Fund-raising, Request, Plea, Worthy

I know I already used this photo but it was so appropriate and I didn’t have time to come up with something new. That said, today I took the “Things to the pool. I know, yesterday biking, today the pool, just call me Julie-Cruise-Director! The pool we go to is great, it’s a wave pool, and has a waterslide, a “lazy river”, and a tot tub. The “Things always have a great time and today was no exception. I was hucking ThingTwo and having her do full 360’s in the air before splashdown, with a constant chant of “AGAIN, AGAIN!”. Another proud moment there. This pool is equipped with Family Changerooms. As a Father with two girls, this has to be the most impressive feature of the facility in my eyes. Closed door changerooms with an adjoining private shower. That alone makes it worth the price of admission. The ‘Things are exuberant children, they love a good “Echo” and those rooms ring. I’m sure everyone can hear everything you say in those rooms. Getting the ‘Things showered, dried and dressed is like one of those really complicated ballroom dances that I tried to learn for my wedding. It takes lots of practice. I have to say I’m quite good at it now, unlike the ballroom dancing. But of course, just when you think you can relax, they throw in added difficulty, you know, just for fun.Keep Reading....

Tags: Pain, Self Preservation, Kids, Contact Sport

We had the ShortThings out riding their bikes for the last two nights and let me say, IT WAS AWESOME! Both of the “Things are still learning to ride and I am learning to be patient and not push too hard for them to “GO BIG OR GO HOME”. After trying to teach THingOne to ski starting at 2.5 yrs old and getting incredibly frustrated with her lack of confidence in her ability (ability, which far exceeded her confidence), I am the model of “chill”. We have a big park just up the road from us that has a 2-lane paved bike path that runs the length of it that is fairly level and the perfect place to practice. It also has a small slope right beside it up to the main field and playground. So when ThingOne, of her own accord announced she was going to push her bike up the hill and ride it down, I was thrilled......and, tried hard not to show it for fear of scaring her off the idea. Needless to say she did it, loved it, and did it again and again until we dragged her home for bedtime. ThingTwo is just old enough to care what her sister is doing and will not be left out, so there she was, riding her bike down the same hill, with the same enthusiasm as her big sister. I almost cried I was so proud.Keep Reading....

Tags: Big Wheels, Green Machines, First Bike, Learning to Ride

I find myself dragging my heels. Waxing nostalgic about the good old days, when a having a mohawk was something of a spectacle. Not that I ever had one mind you, I was never that brave, and now, when you don’t have to be brave, I have no hair to do it with. Sometimes I long for rebellion, my days are currently filled with the joys of domesticity and the wonders of fatherhood. Rebellion in my life is limited to the “Mutha Sucka” t-shirt ThingTwo wears occasionally and my studded belt that keep my shorts up. I still have a few friends who are not on the kid wagon yet and I hear about their lives occasionally and I have to say, I’m not all that jealous. I don’t miss much from that time in my life, I mean there are moments that I would like to experience again. Events or happpenings that I would like to recreate, but I don’t want the life I had at 25 again. What I do miss is my music. I have a wide and varied taste in music and a lot of it is, perhaps questionable for the young ears following me around day in and day out. Keep Reading....

Tags: Punk, Nostalgia, Music, Rebellion

Once again, I am a Big Bad Daddy. I made ThingOne cry yesterday. I asked her to try 1, that’s ONE, frozen blueberry. From the reaction that this produced you would think that blueberries were Bambi’a eyeballs, still dripping with blood, freshly removed from the little deer’s head. Aren’t Blueberries all the rage right now? Doesn’t she know about anti-oxidants? I bet her friends eat blueberries....... ThingOne has a “Thing” about food. She doesn’t like most of it. She has got to be the pickiest kid I have ever met. Now I only have two kids, and the other one is allergic to a boatload of stuff, but feeding ThingTwo is infinitely easier than feeding ThingOne. I worked at a summer camp for over a decade and I never came across a kid this picky. To top it off her list of what she will or won’t eat is completely fluid and something on the “like” list today, will have migrated to the “I’ll die before I eat THAT” list tomorrow. Keep Reading....

Tags: Picky Eater, Blueberries, Anti-Oxidants, Tears

The Boobie Breakfast was a resounding success and the Onesie’s have arrived! Last Saturday morning a group of volunteers got up early and put on a fantastic pancake breakfast in support of The Weekend to End Breast Cancer. There was tons of food and everyone was poppin the top button just so they could sit down. Lots of friends donated various items to help raise money. There was a huge gift basket from Starbucks, some Hand made baby quilts courtesy of Carmangay Custom Quilts, and of course the I Love Boobies Baby T’s! We also made an I Love Boobies Sticker if you’re too big to fit in to the T-shirt. I’m proud to announce you can purchase them here through PayPal if you missed getting one at the Breakfast. There is a limited quantity so if you want one, get one! You can get all of the details here.

Tags: Boobies, Weekend To End Breast Cancer, Fund-raising, Success

Last Thursday I had my worst computer nightmare come true. My computer froze, my hard-drive chirped and said a soft farewell. There was no Dylan Thomas- esque raging against the dying of the light, there was however Rage Against The Machine - esque “WAKE UP”. Just a couple of chirps and “see ya, wouldn’t want to be ya!” This has happened before, and I learned that time, you must BACK UP, regularly, in multiple places. So that time I got a nice external HD set it up and backed up. I haven’t been super busy on the computer up until about three weeks ago, whan all hell broke loose. I have done more work on the computer in the last three weeks than the last three months. Do you think I remembered to back up during the insanity, you’re thinking, yes, oh yes, he learned his lesson......well NO. I didn’t. I lost EVERYTHING I’ve done in the past three weeks, which like I said, is a lot. Sorry for all the “Type-shouting” this is still a little painful. For those of you who don’t know, I stay at home to take care of my two ShortThings full time during the days, and I run a small graphic design studio with all the spare time I have left *HA!*. I had a bunch of work come out of nowhere and was running on an avg of 3 hours sleep a night and a couple of nights with no sleep at all. Lots of work, good work,...all gone. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

This is a preventable tragedy, one that should not have happened and, due to new measures, should not happen to me again. I have a new backup system that backs up my HD hourly, daily, and weekly until it is full, and then only discards the oldest date as it needs space. It has 1TB (that’s tera-byte, oh yeaaaahhhh!!!!) of space on it. Plus I have a 500GB external which I will use as additional space and as a back up to the back up. The real pain in my ass has been reinstalling all of my software, serial numbers, fonts, settings, etc, three years worth of those. who knew that would take so long.

Don’t let this happen to you, for those of us who spend a great deal of our time in the digital realm, and make some kind of income from it, I urge you spend the money, get a system, and use it. BACK UP.

Peace OUT.

BBD.

Tags: Technology, Crash, Burn, Pain, Suffering